10 Male Traits That Beat Verbal Agility

I’ve had some discussions recently about why men can’t express what they are feeling and thinking. It’s a guessing game sometimes; a seemingly trap at other times.

While it makes for an interesting discussion of feelings and thoughts expressed verbally vs. remaining silent, I think there are more important traits than verbal agilityHere are my top ten:

1) Sincerity: If a man ventures to speak, the last thing I want to hear are words said to placate me. If I ask, I really want to know. If you make a gesture make it count and speak for the words you can’t say.

2) Action: Who hasn’t heard “actions speak louder than words”?Take up a cause and work toward it; clean out the garage without being asked; hold the door for me (yes, I’m completely old-fashioned in that regard); and most importantly, defend those who can’t defend themselves – and don’t feel the need to brag about it.

3) Strength: Physical strength; strength of character; make decisions and live by them, take responsibility for decisions; cry when the situation calls for crying. Know who you are and be that person.

4) Family Man: This one’s a biggie. It doesn’t cover only spouse and offspring, but other family members – co-workers; community; fellow organization members.

5) Picks Up His Own Underwear!: It shows flexibility and trainability; conscious of the little things that matter.

6) Independent: No clinging unless our lives depend on it or we’re sledding.

7) Humor! A sense of humor makes up for a multitude of sins and balances my lack of a sense of humor.

8) Good Listening Skills: Sometimes you need to just listen.

9) Confidence: Specifically in knowing what you don’t know and that it’s okay to not know. No excuses or made-up answers.

10) Laid-Back: Not so laid-back you don’t respond! Most women really do need this balance. Our lives are so frenetic a man who isn’t adding stress to an already stressful life is a bonus. When I get annoyed with your “laid-backness”, I don’t really mean it – not long-term anyway.

Creating What You Want

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail”. (Emerson)

Creating what you want in life requires you to be open to discoveries and  possibilities; open to following life’s natural course; taking steps to blaze your life’s trail. The most successful trail blazers are open to change and ambiguity. Continue reading

Practice Peace

How is it that some of the most influential people in our lives are not necessarily the ones we love, or even particularly like.

One such person that comes to mind one is a professor I knew. He is from the generation that Tom Brokaw coined the “greatest generation”. If you can get through the bubble of ignorance my former professor lives in you would find he actually is intelligent. To get to that, you have to be willing to ignore his other, not so wonderful traits.

He cuts down religions; races; women; political views;anything that isn’t his opinion or prejudice. I particularly disliked his treatment of women. He would ask the young men in class to agree with him. They would, for the same reason the young women wouldn’t defend themselves. He held the cards to their future. I don’t believe he meant any harm. He would have had to have been aware of a world outside of himself. Continue reading