10 Male Traits That Beat Verbal Agility

I’ve had some discussions recently about why men can’t express what they are feeling and thinking. It’s a guessing game sometimes; a seemingly trap at other times.

While it makes for an interesting discussion of feelings and thoughts expressed verbally vs. remaining silent, I think there are more important traits than verbal agilityHere are my top ten:

1) Sincerity: If a man ventures to speak, the last thing I want to hear are words said to placate me. If I ask, I really want to know. If you make a gesture make it count and speak for the words you can’t say.

2) Action: Who hasn’t heard “actions speak louder than words”?Take up a cause and work toward it; clean out the garage without being asked; hold the door for me (yes, I’m completely old-fashioned in that regard); and most importantly, defend those who can’t defend themselves – and don’t feel the need to brag about it.

3) Strength: Physical strength; strength of character; make decisions and live by them, take responsibility for decisions; cry when the situation calls for crying. Know who you are and be that person.

4) Family Man: This one’s a biggie. It doesn’t cover only spouse and offspring, but other family members – co-workers; community; fellow organization members.

5) Picks Up His Own Underwear!: It shows flexibility and trainability; conscious of the little things that matter.

6) Independent: No clinging unless our lives depend on it or we’re sledding.

7) Humor! A sense of humor makes up for a multitude of sins and balances my lack of a sense of humor.

8) Good Listening Skills: Sometimes you need to just listen.

9) Confidence: Specifically in knowing what you don’t know and that it’s okay to not know. No excuses or made-up answers.

10) Laid-Back: Not so laid-back you don’t respond! Most women really do need this balance. Our lives are so frenetic a man who isn’t adding stress to an already stressful life is a bonus. When I get annoyed with your “laid-backness”, I don’t really mean it – not long-term anyway.

A, B and O

“The heart has reasons that the mind cannot understand” ~ Blaise Pascal

I made lunch and as I cut off the first slice of bread, I was taken back to my childhood. My mother forbade us to cut the bread and make off with the heel as soon as it was out of the oven. Her claim was it would ruin the rest of the loaf for other people’s enjoyment.  Continue reading

Sine Nomine

A Facebook friend mentioned a favorite hymn today.  “For All the Saints Who From Their Labors Rest”. I write not about saints, but about the music and it’s lyrics and life’s journey.

The hymn was originally titled “Sine Nomine” which is Latin for “no name”. The composer (Ralph Vaughn Williams) wrote what at first blush seems an awkward composition, but when coupled with the lyrics added later (William Walsham How) the plan is perfect. Continue reading

Maine Life

I experienced the opportunity to visit Downeast Maine last week. Scarcity of any  signs of civilization, which some may find a culture shock. As many of my road trips are, it was an adventure. What should have been a 2 1/2 hour tour, turned to 3 hours. Along the way I met interesting people who remind me why I live here. Continue reading